Celia, however, is the matriarch in our relationship and I am just some fawning ingenue so if she's decided I am 'sweetie' then 'sweetie' it is. Or maybe she just couldn't remember my name.And back to the conversation. "No, Celia, I really, really think I'm going mad. I'm getting really obsessive about stuff; yesterday I realised that my foot exactly fits in the brick paving in the yard. Exactly fits. There are 372 bricks in my yard, I know, I put one of my feet in each of them. Checked each one. And then I checked them all again with my other foot. Honestly, I'm going a bit potty." You need to do more baking." There it is, Celia's solution to everything; do more baking. Or to be more exact, it's Celia's recommended solution to whatever ails I've decided to moan about this week. Also I think it is a dig at my complete lack of baking skills and lack of respect for all things baky, as well as a sly dig at my slatternly housewifely domestic standards. Each Tuesday afternoon Celia and I. .. not someone's trash heap!Here I was in the middle of intense love making, just about ready to give my mate all my seed and I heard a loud crash over my head. Boy, when you're suddenly startled like that, everything shrinks pretty damn fast. I was pissed. This was not the first time something had landed onto my roof. This was not the first time something has interrupted our mating dance. Damn it, if I ever find out who the litter bug is, I'll kick ass.This all started more than 18 years ago. My father was outside, on the surface, looking for minerals when this light fell from the sky. He was just bending over to look at a rock and this thing whizzed over his head and fell in front of him. He was lucky it never hit him or he would have been flattened. He had always told everyone about the times he had seen strange lights in the sky. This was the first time one of these lights had landed. My father picked up the "light" with his special tongs and discovered that it was very hot and.
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